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Dirky And The Cavemen

Dirky was a spaceman and far and wide his name was known
He was returning from boldly going when off course he was blown
He went into a timewarp and crashed into a tree
And landed back on earth in 2000BC
He looked around and stood his ground and drew his laser gun
As a thousand hairy savages with spears had come to see what's going on
Dirky said "I come in peace" in every language he could try
Finally found a one that the savages recognised
He said he was a traveller from another time
Said he came from England in 2029
Chief Zan introduced himself with a smile
Said "make yourself at home here cos you're gonna be here a while"
Dirky wondered why he stayed there
With savages whose brains were fresh air
He was a hero in his own time
He must get back to 2029

Dirky used to get annoyed at all the gadgets he couldn't use
Especially when he had to wait an hour or more for his food
He said "I just use a microwave but where's the mains supply?"
Cheif Zan pointed out a roaring open fire
And turning on the spit was his supply of food
But Dirk was too preoccupied to realise it tasted so good
Dirky brought his finest whiskey out of the spaceship wreck
It seemed too good to waste on these savages but what the heck
And after they had drunk this they brought some of their own
The finest wine he'd tasted and all home grown
And all around the music played and stars were shining bright
The drumming and the singing and the dancing went on into the night
Dirky wondered why he stayed there
With savages whose brains were fresh air
He was a hero in his own time
He must get back to 2029

Dirky learned to hunt and fish, Dirky learned to survive
And all the men were happy though they'd probably die at 35
He got to like the life there, began to settle down
He'd found what he was looking for in a simple caveman town
He'd been to every city in the modern universe
But this one was more alive, more sure where it was heading than those
Dirky wed a local girl and raised a happy family
Dirky left his spaceship wrapped around an ancient tree
He didn't miss the traffic queues or the fuming factories
He didn't miss the cancer, didn't miss the heart disease
He didn't miss the monthly cheque or working 9 to 5
He didn't miss the telly or the drugs or the countless suicides
Dirky died a happy caveman
Just 40 years was his lifespan
And if you find a fossil of a spaceship
That's where old Dirky made his last trip.

Words and music by Den Miller
Copyright (C) 2003 Den Miller